Where has it gone? And will it ever come back? I am 35, and I'm pretty convinced that there are 85 year olds out there who are sexier than I am. Even leaving aside the post baby body and delightful thyroid appearance (still 10 pounds to lose, and if I still had all my hair that'd be more), there's just nothing going on down there. At first I put it down to the baby. Who does feel sexy when they've been up most the night, definitively not partying but feeding and burping? The episiotomy didn't help. That particular scar still gives me gyp almost ten months in. So I waited. We tried to resume normal service and I capitulated (note that, I didn't leap in with joyous shout). not a lot, and that was with the help of various oils and ungents.
I then put it down to my post baby body. A bit chubbier, and the thyroid isn't helping there, but no stretchmarks. Boobs are vanquished and quite definately still food objects rather than lust objects (although frankly whether they'll ever incite lust again once he's finsihed is to be questioned). But I was expecting some return of mojo. I'd always been a very mojo type of girl before, far more so than DP.
Now i think it must be my thyroid. Because I am just totally and utterly sexless. Nobody incites me. If Brad Pitt or any other supposedly sexy beast wandered through my door and said "take me" I'd refuse and have a nap instead, if they'd mind the baby. I have no twinges of rudeness left. My libido is MIA.
It's such an important part of me, I miss it. And weirder still, no doctor has addressed it. I've mentioned it, and it's always been dismissed with a "it'll come online when the rest of you does". But what about the meantime? What about my relationship with a faltering DP who misses me and it? I miss it too, in a vague way. It was Me, a bit of me that's gone. I intend to tackle it again at my next appointment and not leave without an answer. I would like the few hours before I slump asleep that I can spend with DP to be something other than him watching me slowly zombify in front of shit TV. I want my mojo back. Would a doctor go through this themselves without medicating? I think not. Although frankly, on 75 grand a year plus they probably don't need a libido.
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