Bad mother day

I haven't felt any better on 150mg of thyroxine. I am still utterly knackered, still have shit hair, zilch libido and a very short fuse. I snapped today and energybaby got the brunt of it. He's asleep now after a most spectacular day of whining, on his part and mine.

The main problem was babyflu, a more virulent strain, I have discovered, of manflu. It has lasted a week, and only now am I getting a little more sleep as energybaby regains use of his nostril(s). The fury on his face as he found he couldn't breathe as he wished was a sight to see. Like Ann Widdicome. I almost don't see the point in getting dressed (in fact I didn't for most of the week) as everything ends up covered in snot anyway. Energybaby failed to live up to his name during most of the week, being immovable and depressed, preferring instead to whine loudly and demand picking up all the time, whereupon he would nap briefly in the upright posistion. All night. At first I had hopes of at least watching a bit of tv holding him, but no, swaying and walking was the order of the day. End result is one exhausted mum and a grumpy dad. Not that his sleep was disturbed that much.

It's very hard not to have sleep envy of DP. He makes such a fuss when he IS woken up (which is rarely and only ever when things are really bad, he sleeps through almost everything) I feel like killing him. If he so much as mentions he is tired I want to throttle him, he has NO IDEA AT ALL. I am dead, dead, dead and hypothyroid too, so double dead. I spit on his tired. His tired is totally gay. When he snores he's lucky I don't kill him. And I know that he wishes I were bouncier and livelier and maybe sexier, but to be like that i'd have to have a weekend in a hotel. Alone. Catching up on sleep.

And being that tired and dealing with moanyenergybaby has just about killed me so far this week. I can't put him down for a minute he's so moany. if i do, and try to ignore him to do something vital, like urinate, he clings onto my legs and attempts to shimmy up. I was trying to prepare him lunch (for him to refuse to eat, natch) today in my sleepless torpor, unable even to follow the radio through the perpetual wail, when I snapped and shouted at him to shut up. Not that it worked, or indeed made me feel any better. In fact the only thing that could do that would be having a day off. And I can't do that. Because no-one offers. I am sorely tempted to just bugger off somewhere on Saturday and leave him with DP. Then he could see what a day with him is REALLY like and I could go and sit somewhere. DP doesn't realy get what it is like being a SAHM all day, with no company, no conversation, nothing. It's so dull I could kill myself some days. And he has no idea what work energybaby entails because even at weekends, I do it. I think I need to put my foot down and get some time off, before I do a bunk like that dodgy canoe bloke and just f off to panama or something.

And I don't care if it is raining tommorrow i'm going out.Runny nose or no. I cannot be inside this house any longer!

Annoying thing my mum said when we went shopping.
"Of course, i just got smaller after each pregnancy, just fell off me"
as she trips into the petite section to buy some impossibly tiny jumper. At least she hasn't given me a postnatal workout book like she has my sister.

Gok Wan or whatever.
You are not seriously telling me that those women don't damn well know they are going to have to do a catwalk naked. Of course they do, it's the whole damn programme. And if you want a real challenge come check out the hypothyroid woman here. Can't do much with me, when I have no hair and huge body fat. And even if you did, using your crack team of drag queens or whatever, a cinched in waist with a big belt isn't really practical when you are covered with snot all the time and never go anywhere ever anyway. Or do anything. You could make me look like bloody Lauren Bacall and it'd still go unoticed by the huge array of people I meet in park playgrounds. I can't see calf accentuating heels going down a storm through the countryside mud here, pushing a buggy.
Plus why are the women always surprised when they find out that the beauty product hasn't worked? Are they thick?