hair again.

Well, the good news, I suppose, is that I now have leg hair. After almost 10 months with no body hair at all, I am now welcomed back into the fold of hairy women. I intend to give them a ceremonial first shave this evening once energy demon baby is asleep. My armpit hair is also progressing nicely, and down there is almost abundant. Strangely, prior to going thyroid, I spent huge amounts of time and effort ridding myself of body hair. Once it all fell out, I missed it. I am reluctant to shave my armpits; I rather like the fuzz there. It is somehow proof that I am getting better, even if I don't always feel like it.

Hair loss is one of the worst things about thyroid problems. The body hair I could handle, nobody minds a bald body after all, and it's covered up anyway, unless you're Paris Hilton or something. It's certainly covered up if you're a new mum, for the sake of everyone. But the head hair, that's bad. Hair has such a lot to do with how you feel, even leaving aside how it's supposed to reflect your health. I'd always had funky hair, shortish and cut well, different colours and flattering. from torturing it with shockwaves hairspray and crimpers in the 80's, to sporting dyed black Louise brooks style bobs, it's always been part and parcel of me, or who I project I am. It's a way of proclaiming personality. i'd always kept my hair looking good, and could sport a suit at work confident that my hair spoke of "me" underneath. that's what hair is, it's our creative skin. I've never been blessed with lush hair, the whole family lacks that gene, but it was ok looking and made me feel quite vibrant if i kept it well managed. I'd complain about how I'd like thicker hair, but I had no idea. In fact, my hair WAS thick, i just didn't know it. It was only when it started coming out in handfuls that I realised how much I liked my hair.

At first I put it down to post-partum hair loss. Then as the months dragged on, and my scalp became visible through my hair, I panicked. I began couting hairs shed in the mornings. I dreaded the shower. At one point it was over 400 hairs per shower. My hairline receded to Dracula proportions. What remined was sparse, dry and brittle. I cut it all off.

I looked worse. I took to wearing scarves. I scoured charity shops for headscarves and defiantly wore lipstick in the mistaken belief that this made me look less weird. I found solace in matching scarves to outfits. Alright, the outfits were covered in baby sick and I looked dreadful but at least my accessories matched.

Then my eyebrows fell out at the ends, leaving me with 2/3rds of an eyebrow each side. There is nothing you can do to stop this looking weird. Drawing them in looks worse.

After 6 months on thyroxine, and a switch to non-paraben, non-endocrine disruptor shampoos (i get them from Weleda, they're fab), my shedding is slowed. I have small fuzzy hairs growing on my massive expanse of previously bared forehead. The hairs are softer, finer, and mostly grey, but they are hairs. I don't feel the need for headscarves all the time, although I do still look bad if the wind blows furiously or the sun glints off my head top. And my eyebrows are back. I am not plucking them ever again, i'm too damn pleased to see them.

I suppose the point of this is that you don't appreciate hair until it's gone. I feel deep sympathy with men and women who go through this. The hairdresser who cut mine all off just didn't know where to put herself, or how to talk about it. She assumed cancer, I didn't say anything. Too few people know about female hairloss or appreciate what it can do to someone. I lost enormous amounts of confidence, and self esteem, which i still haven't gotten back fully. It's almsot as if the auto-immune or thyroid versions of hair loss aren't "bad" enough as the cancer versions, they get no airplay, no media, and it's simply assumed that you have crap hair. I can look at myself in the mirror again, but the period when i couldn't was soul destroying. It's only hair, but it's such a big big thing. It's got so much to do with sexulaity too. I'd always been confident enough to have short hair and still feel feminine, but short is different to balding, and with my hair went a large part of my sexual confidence. It's not back yet, maybe soon. When I look in the mirror now, i see a tired thyroid mum with crap mum hair and no time to apply make-up even if she could find any she wasn't suddenly allergic too. But i still mostly see what isn't there, the hair I'm waiting for.

Practical tips.

• Thyroid disorders affect your hair from within. No product, however tempting, will make it grow back. Only medication can do that, and it wil take a long time. Your body has to repair cells all over first, and hair is low on it's list of priorities. So, don't waste money on fancy shampoos and so on.

• Instead, take supplements to make what you have got left better. Dryness is a problem, and the best thing for this is Evening Primrose Oil. I take 1000mg daily (take supplements at the opposite end of the day to your thyroxine, so they do not lsow absorption). It softens the hair, adds shine, and helps your hormones balance to boot. it may also help in the male pattern baldness elements. But it will take time and at least 2 months is reasonable to wait. Tescos do 1000mg cheaply.

• Try shampoos and conditioners without chemicals. Shampoos that promise to shine and soften dry hair do so by coating the hair. Your thyroid hair is falling out anyway, don't make it more chemical and heavier than it needs to be. Also, shampoos and conditioners contain chemicals such as parabens that are endocrine disruptors. Your endocrine system is screwed, so use paraben and chemical free shampoos. it is harder to find them than you think. Weleda do some great ones. Rosemary shampoo from them does a nice job of thickening and it's totally natural.It's quite expensive at about a fiver but it lasts ages. Also try Pure Nuff stuff. (see links)

• Cut it anyway. Don't make the mistake of clinging onto the remaining long hair. Cuting it off shorter makes you feel better. it helped me become more accepting. It also helped the remaining hair be better condidtion, and meant that there was less hair to clog the bath. psychologically, it helped that I couldn't tell the difference between my hair and DP's in the plughole!
• Read the Shomon article linked below for more tips.

Links

http://www.weleda.co.uk/

http://www.purenuffstuff.co.uk/

http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/hairloss.htm (Shomon article)

http://www.stophairlossnow.co.uk/WomensHair2.htm (good website about female hairloss with plenty of hypothyroid info.)